Thursday, June 26, 2008

and being random

i think i have become a person i never imagined i would be..
i think don't have a 'myself' to be when they say "be yourself".
i act and maybe think differently in different circumstances,
always changing,
and i find myself being molded into different things again and again..
i'm actually not sure what my character is like for certain..

when i see someone acting in a certain way, and i look at people's reaction to that person's actions, i make a mental note to either do more of what that person did, or never do it (depending on whtherthere was a bad reaction to it or a good one).
i look at mistakes people sometimes make (lets say A and B are friends, and A says something that makes B quite unhappy, which causes A to be in an awkward position) and i make sure that i never make that mistake ever.
maybe my psychology is : i need to fit in, be someone, be perfect.

but sometimes i dont know why i do things,
why the instinct to fit in is so strong..
take for example, letting down my fringe when the teachers made it very clear that you shouldn't have fringe "all over the place".
i look at others, see that their fringe is down too, so i let my fringe down.
and the teachers would see and remind me i should have pinned it up...
maybe "i look damn ugly with my hair pinned up"
so i don't.
but i remember i used to be such a guai kia..

when in Rome, do as the Romans do?


anyway, hope u liked the pics.. i was lazy to upload, but i finally did it so yeah..
Cherlyn, your back is in the turtle's picture. hahahahah!!